Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Success of a sort

I have successfully infiltrated the household of a normal, Orlando-based couple. The road to this eventuality was short and easy, and yet my soul is worn and tattered by the journey.

I experienced a brief moment of uneasiness when my new 'masters' settled on the name Herzog, as it would indicate they see through my disguise and recognize me for who I truly am, Master Filmmaker Werner Herzog. I can only surmise that the most serendipitous of coincidences has occurred, as they continue to treat me as a normal, unassuming housecat. They have neither asked for money or insight into any of my many films, nor what working with Kinski was like. Ah, Kinski. If he could see me now, I am certain he would have stuffed me into the automated dishwasher on the 'Pots and Pans' setting. How I loved him.

I have been shown where I am to eliminate my bodily wastes, and was given a beef liver treat when I did so. I found myself elated, and suspect my disguise is exerting some influence over my mental state. String and small loose objects of plastic hold my attention. I have never been so happy as when I hear paper rustling in the kitchen, and must run and investigate the source immediately.

I am unspeakably enraged by common electronic products such as printers, dvd players and blenders.

More tomorrow.

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